WELCOME TO THE “IN THEIR OWN SKIN” SERIES.

One of the biggest honors of my job as a boudoir photographer is hearing the stories clients share with me. While these stories are not mine to share on a public platform, I hold them close in my heart. They bring me inspiration, strength, and light in a way that only true humanity and vulnerability can.

I created the “In Their Own Skin” series to share some of these stories with you. The “In Their Own Skin” participants graciously consented to share their stories (told in their own words) alongside their boudoir pictures. My sincere hope is that these stories and pictures will bring you moments of strength, uplift your soul, and encourage you to keep moving forward, especially as we navigate these challenging times.

Today I’m delighted to introduce you to Emilie, the next participant in the “In Their Own Skin” series. Emilie shares her story of learning to exist and care for her body and mind in the present. She speaks with mindfulness, thoughtfulness, and wisdom. Here are her words.

“My name is Emilie, and I live in South Minneapolis with my partner Nathan and my dog Dik Dik. I am 33 years old. I own a tattoo shop (Merci Tattoo), and I’ve been tattooing for about seven years. For fun, I’m learning new ways to have fun in my own house and am getting into my garden!”

“How can I care for myself today?”

“There are so many ways that my relationship has changed with my body. Something that’s been huge for me is learning to be super present.

“I’m trying to be really present in hearing other peoples’ stories and understanding more about my own privilege as a White person. I’ll try to be really present in those spaces, but then when it comes to my body, there's this huge disconnect. I’m like, ‘Someday, my body will be like this or like that.’

“Some of my own healing has been in being present with my body and being thankful for my body now. I’m approaching each day with, ‘Who am I today? What are my tools I can use today? How can I care for myself today?’

“I think ‘presentness’ or ‘nowness’ is hard, because I think it’s easy to live in the future or past… it’s tempting! But I’ve found a lot of joy in being more present.”

“Caring for myself is part of the journey of caring for others.”

“I used to think that you could show up for others or for yourself. I’m learning that the more you can do your own healing and understand who you are and aren’t, the more you are capable of meeting other people where they are. I’m learning that caring for myself is part of the journey of caring for others.

“That’s something that’s been a strange blessing of this weird time where everything has had to stop. When my business was closed during the pandemic (and it sort of still is), it was this gift of finding a new calibration — when does my body actually feel good? What do I actually need? How much rest do I really need?

“I’ve been bringing my stress level down so far that I realized I’d been living at a really frenetic pace. So that’s a big goal for me -- not just for my body, but for my mind, my social life, everything -- that as we potentially reopen or don’t, to keep in mind that certain base level of health that I’m able to access, and to be really protective of that.”

“I’m a resilient person that adapts.”

“I love that I’m adaptable. That’s a part of me that I used to feel frustrated at. I used to derogatively call myself a ‘chameleon,’ because even though I’ve only lived in the United States since I was 17 year old, I have pretty much a Minnesotan accent. I can be incognito anywhere I go.

“If you tell someone that you’re from somewhere else, their first reaction is, ‘Why don’t you have an accent?’ I used to be embarrassed about that fact, or feel like a fake -- like, ‘Is it bad that I’m so moldable? Does it mean I’m not true to who I am, or a pushover, or a people-pleaser?’

“My therapist gave me a good, kind comeback. When people are like, ‘Why don’t you have an accent?,’ my therapist suggested I say, ‘Yeah, I’m very adaptable, and I’m a resilient person that adapts to new situations as needed.’ Oh, that’s a reframing!

“I’ve come to like that about myself, and to not think of it as being a doormat or people-pleasing -- which it can lean that way -- but to embrace it as, ‘Oh, I’m someone who has the skills to be able to see where people are at and adapt the way I’m speaking or the way I’m interacting to meet them where they’re are.’

“But I’ve also come to realize the balance of that. It’s okay for me to take up space too, and to be that person who says, ‘This is where I am, this is who I am. It might be outside your frame of knowledge, and that’s okay.’

“That’s even part of renaming my tattoo shop ‘Merci.’ My first thought was, ‘What if people can’t pronounce it? What if they’re intimidated? What if I pronounce it weird? Am I pronouncing it too French?’ I realized that it’s okay to ask people to meet you, to take just a tiny step towards you.

“Also I love my legs, they’re very strong!”

“I have the safety and the privilege to think about those questions.”

“I think I’m really realizing that place of privilege that I have as a White person in the United States. I have the safety and the privilege to think about those questions. I’m realizing that even the deep introspection I’ve been able to have is really a facet of being safe and being protected.

“I think that right now, with White people thinking more about race than maybe they have before (including myself), it’s easy to think of it as uncomfortable. But I think we’re actually lucky to be reflecting on this; we’re lucky that people are even sharing their grief and pain with us. That’s so present on my mind.

“Even the fact that I had to fuss with my hair today is partially because my look as a White woman is extremely accepted as conventionally beautiful. I’m able-bodied. I’m curvy but I don’t really get a lot of fat-phobia. I’m very aware that I was born into that, I didn’t earn that. That was fully given to me.

“I want to extend that safety and love to the other people in our community, so that they also can have the freedom to have shit days and to be introspective and to be able to spend ten years in therapy or whatever they want to do, and not have to think about their literal daily lives, if they’re going to be killed in the streets.”

“How can I make this actually be accessible?”

“That’s something that we as White people should be aware of -- that the benefits and graces and fun in things we do are gifts and joys and blessings -- and that it doesn’t come for free from other people. I’m trying to make that space so that even when we’re having fun and enjoying ourselves, be grateful for it and realize that we live in a very unfair system, and that it’s not the case for everyone. Not everyone can have a beautiful day right now.

“I think it can actually be a tool to go forward and have a bit more gratitude and joy. I think what I’m reflecting on in tattooing is, realizing all of that, how can I make this actually be accessible? I’ve been working with an equity advisor, going through a lot of training around ending anti-Black racism in tattooing, and trying to really make changes.”

Emilie, I am so, so grateful that I got to spend the day with you and create these incredible boudoir portraits together. You treat others with such gentle compassion and presence. Your approach to life is so thoughtful and genuine, and I deeply admire how you reflect on your space in the world. Thank you for trusting me with your portraits -- it was a joy and an honor to work together!