In Their Own Skin: Roisen
WELCOME TO THE “IN THEIR OWN SKIN” SERIES.
One of the biggest honors of my job as a boudoir photographer is hearing the stories clients share with me. While these stories are not mine to share on a public platform, I hold them close in my heart. They bring me inspiration, strength, and light in a way that only true humanity and vulnerability can.
I created the “In Their Own Skin” series to share some of these stories with you. The “In Their Own Skin” participants graciously consented to share their stories (told in their own words) alongside their boudoir pictures. My sincere hope is that these stories and pictures will bring you moments of strength, uplift your soul, and encourage you to keep moving forward, especially as we navigate these challenging times.
I am so honored to introduce you to Roisen today! Roisen speaks beautifully and honestly about being gender fluid. She shares her story with an open heart and compassion for others. Here are her words.
“I am Roisen/Keith. I am a nurse. I work down in Rochester. I’m originally from Ireland; I moved here about six and a half years ago. I really like triathlon, and I really like very uncomfortable high heels.”
“‘Hey, I love you, and it’s a part of you.’”
“I think what describes me the best is gender fluid. I love looking in the mirror and flexing and being like, ‘I look good as a dude, I’m muscular, I’m attractive,’ but I also love myself in heels that I also feel very sexy in.
“I struggled a lot with Roisen for many, many years. I very much started to realize, ‘Oh, I like eyelashes and makeup and heels and glam.” I was confused for a long time, and then I tried to start to open up about it, and I was met with… not a lot of good from family and friends.
“So then I kind of went, ‘Oh, okay, this is not normal. I need to push this back down inside.’ It became this secret -- “I can only do it one day a month.” And it just became this monkey on my back and this big, ugly thing.
“When I met my now-wife Allison, she was really, really open to it. She was kind of like, ‘Hey, I love you, and it’s a part of you.” Then, very very slowly, Roisen got to step out of the closet.
“Two years ago, I went out for the first time, and I went from feeling like it’s kind of this dirty fetish-type thing to realizing that it’s not that at all. I just really feel beautiful when I wear heels because my legs look longer -- because they do! I really feel like my eyes and my lashes look really nice when I’ve got eyeshadow and mascara on, because they do.
“These photos have really allowed me to feel beautiful as a woman, and then that kind of leaks into me feeling beautiful as a man.”
“Have an open heart.”
“I’m also very, very lucky. I’m on a social media platform for people who are trans or gender fluid. Unfortunately, the stigma is that for people (who identify as trans or gender fluid), that it usually reflects also on their sexuality. People are terrified to tell their significant others and partners, so they have to hide it like I had to. I’m lucky that Allison is so open and like, ‘Hey, you gotta do you.’
“For anybody else who’s in the position that unfortunately some gender fluid or trans people are, trust the people you love and they will reciprocate. It was really really hard for me to tell Allison, and we’ve been married now for seven years, we’ve been dating for 11 years. It’s incredible -- every single day I don’t have to hide who I am, I get to be who I want to be.
“If you’re female and you find out that your husband is gender fluid, just be open-minded. It’s all about communicating. Don’t make any clean-cut decisions. I’m very LGBTQ+ friendly and want everybody to love everybody, but particularly for gender fluid and trans people, it’s fairly misunderstood. So everybody, have an open heart.”
“I like my ability to make people laugh.”
“My favorite attribute is my sense of humor. If you ask anybody (particularly my wife, but any of my friends), at really dark and tough moments where you really, really need to smile and laugh, I always seem to be able to make somebody laugh or smile. I have a natural wit about me -- I enjoy being the entertainer. (I don’t know how I haven’t turned into a drag queen yet, I’m sure it’ll happen when I go to the performance side of it!)
“I find humor in anything and in everything. I find that a lot of people live their lives so seriously because that’s the way to get forward and get ahead - but that’s not always the right thing. I think comedy a lot of the time is found in the past; it’s in reflection and reviewing something and then being like, ‘Look at this other lens we can view this through,’ and it can be comical. I’ve always felt that I have that ability, and I like my ability to make people laugh.”
Roisen, it was such a privilege and honor to work with you. I am blown away by your beautiful heart -- look how it radiates out of your portraits! -- and the open, loving compassion you share with others (not to mention your awesome sense of humor!). Thank you so much for trusting me with your photos. I hope we get to work together again!