In Their Own Skin: "M"
WELCOME TO THE “IN THEIR OWN SKIN” SERIES.
One of the biggest honors of my job as a boudoir photographer is hearing the stories clients share with me. While these stories are not mine to share on a public platform, I hold them close in my heart. They bring me inspiration, strength, and light in a way that only true humanity and vulnerability can.
I created the “In Their Own Skin” series to share some of these stories with you. The “In Their Own Skin” participants graciously consented to share their stories (told in their own words) alongside their boudoir pictures. My sincere hope is that these stories and pictures will bring you moments of strength, uplift your soul, and encourage you to keep moving forward, especially as we navigate these challenging times.
I’m excited to introduce you to “M,” the next participant in the “In Their Own Skin” series! “M’s” story is full of wisdom and self-love! Some content may be challenging to read for those who have experienced sexual assault. “M” speaks about her journey to healing with compassion, strength, and grace. Here are her words.
“My name is “M.” I just turned 25 years old, and I am a Montessori teacher for infants. I just got married a year ago, and I have two fur babies, Lola and Lacy (they’re mischievous, but they’re the best!). I love running, I love yoga, I love everything in the health and fitness realm, and I also love reading!”
“I was done running from everything that I truly am.”
“My relationship with myself has changed a lot recently. I was sexually assaulted in my late teenage years, and that was a big turning point in my life where I kind of lost my former self. I went to college not knowing who I was anymore. I went into self-protection and became really closed off from my former fun-loving self. I battled with anxiety and depression for about five years.
“Just recently, I had a turning point. Right after my partner and I got married and bought our house, when I thought everything should be picture-perfect -- I hit the point where I realized that I can’t keep living in this anxiety.
“In January, I got a job that was related to what I wanted to study for my master’s degree, and I absolutely hated it. I wanted to love it, and I wanted it to propel me to do more and continue my education, but I hated it -- and I didn’t want to admit it.
“I finally had this major panic attack at work where I realized I was done. I was done running from everything that I truly am.
“I went to the doctor the next day and said, ‘I need help with my anxiety. I need to get this all figured out.’ I started therapy the next day; I didn’t care who it was with, I just needed to go!
“It’d been years of burying it and running from it. Deep down I knew it was there, because it would pop up all the time, but I kept pushing it down and tying it up in a little box. I knew it had to be dealt with, and that was finally the breaking point where I was like, ‘This needs to change. This needs to be done.’”
“It’s so freeing to be able to do that.”
“I’ve been trying to find that former self that was super fun-loving and super confident. I was a gymnast, I loved my body -- my body did amazing things for me for so many years! The ‘me too.’ movement was huge for me. Just realizing that I’m not the only person that’s gone through this was huge.
“I’ve been on this quest of finding where I was before that happened, and this boudoir session is definitely a part of that. I’m trying to go back to the person I was before the trauma happened, before the world told me what I should be. I’m on this quest of finding my true authentic self, and it’s fun. It’s so freeing to be able to do that. I read books and books and books about loving yourself and dropping your fear. I’m big into empowerment!
“I started an online blog that stemmed out of fitness. Fitness is definitely what kept me in tune with my body, and being able to speak up on a bigger platform is what I’m all about.”
“I’m always trying to get to where I’m destined to be.”
“One thing I really love about myself is that I’m always trying to grow spiritually, grow mentally, and grow physically. I’m always trying to get to where I’m destined to be. I’m trying to be the best for myself. That’s what I really care about -- just making sure I’m doing what’s right for me.
“A lot of that comes from the physical realm: eating the foods that make me feel good, running and doing yoga, and blessing my body and taking care of what I’ve been given. I love working out and being able to see how it changes my body, because I feel like my body has been in so many different forms throughout the years. It’s amazing that my body can do so many different things, and I’m starting to love every shape that it goes into.
“That’s probably my favorite thing, being able to grow and evolve.”
“M,” it was such a joy to work together and create these portraits! You brought such a beautiful and confident energy into the studio, and I think it really shows in your portraits. Thank you for sharing your story with us -- it’s so inspiring to hear about the work you’ve been putting in to find healing and grow towards who you’re destined to be! You are amazing inside and out, and I'm so glad that we were able to create these portraits together.