In Their Own Skin: Michelle
WELCOME TO THE “IN THEIR OWN SKIN” SERIES.
One of the biggest honors of my job as a boudoir photographer is hearing the stories clients share with me. While these stories are not mine to share on a public platform, I hold them close in my heart. They bring me inspiration, strength, and light in a way that only true humanity and vulnerability can.
I created the “In Their Own Skin” series to share some of these stories with you. The “In Their Own Skin” participants graciously consented to share their stories (told in their own words) alongside their boudoir pictures. My sincere hope is that these stories and pictures will bring you moments of strength, uplift your soul, and encourage you to keep moving forward, especially as we navigate these challenging times.
I’m excited to introduce you to Michelle, the next participant in the “In Their Own Skin” series. Michelle talks openly about how her view of her body has changed over years. As a helper, Michelle really finds unique and incredible ways to lift up those around her! Here are her words.
“I’m Michelle. I’m 25 years old and from Minneapolis. I was raised in Burnsville -- not far from where I live, but far enough away that I don’t have to be home all the time and can still go home when I want to!
“I love what I do -- I’m a hair colorist! It’s kind of a blend of art and science, which I love. I also teach hair color education all across the country for Aveda, which is so much fun. I’ve worked for Aveda since I was 16 years old (almost ten years!). They have a very strong mission, and that’s shaped my personal mission. What I do for work and what I do with my real life are very connected through that mission.
“On top of teaching for Aveda, I’m also a marching band instructor! What I love about it is that I get to work with these kids who are from all different backgrounds, from all over the place, and bring them together for one thing. It means so much to me to be able to work with them and be able to watch them grow. These kids come in as freshmen, and then before we know it, I’m at their grad parties, wishing them well and sending them off to college! It’s so cool.
“When I’m not doing any of that, I’m hiking and cooking! I love spending time at my cabin, spending time outdoors, and being outside in nature. Being myself, being outside, and being happy all tie into my personal mission. And no matter how different the things that I do are -- working in the salon could not be more opposite from working with high schoolers! -- they’re so connected and they’re so much fun.”
“My cup overflows so that I can refill the cups of other people.”
“To sum it up, Aveda’s mission is to care for the world and to be present in both the world of beauty and around the world. We’re not only caring for the products that we make -- we’re also giving back to society.
“I don’t only think about the clients that are in my chair, only their hair, only their formula, only what I’m doing with them today. I think, ‘What are we going to talk about? What are they going to take away from this experience? Are they going to be happier today when they leave? Is their day going to be better?’ I am such a cup-filler; my cup overflows so that I can refill the cups of other people.
“Not only am I coloring each client’s hair, blow-drying, and styling, but I’m making sure that each client’s experience today is different than any experience they’ll have in a salon. That’s through talking about them, talking about me, talking about how we connect, and learning how I can be the best stylist and colorist for them.
“A lot of times, I’m also learning how to be the best confidant for them, the best friend that they can have right now -- which is so much fun for me! I have 450 best friends that I just get to hang out with in the salon, and that’s what my work is: hanging out with people and doing a whole bunch of art/science-y stuff to their hair to make them feel good and look good when they leave.
“My personal mission extends through Aveda’s as well in the way that I make sure that I live sustainably. I always make sure to be as low-waste as I can be. I’m very passionate about saving the world as much as I can as one person, and trying to give back to the world what it gave to us. We get beauty from the world; let’s give the world beauty again.
“This also connects back to my love for the outdoors. It all comes together, which is so fascinating to me! Everything that I do is interconnected.”
“I want to make sure they’re not insecure about who they are.”
“In high school, two of my guy friends called me ‘Thigh Gap Michelle’ -- so inappropriate for so many reasons. I hated my thigh gap because they made it such a horrible thing. When I left high school, my body changed and that filled in. And I loved it! I loved that my thighs touched.
“This is a big thing that I work with my high schoolers on. While still being a very appropriate adult in their lives, I make sure that they don’t have friends that treat them that way, and that if they do, they realize it, and then they can make decisions based off of that.
“I want to make sure they’re not insecure about who they are, because they’re all wonderful, especially the young women that I work with! I want to make sure that they don’t have to fight to be comfortable and happy. It’s fun to have a hand with the younger generation to make sure it doesn’t happen anymore.”
“You can use your human existence to boost human existence.”
“In the last year, I’ve really gotten into the Enneagram, the Myers-Briggs test, and even my astrology -- things that tell me about myself. I used to think, ‘Whatever, this is just something someone’s writing in the Cosmopolitan magazine, this is something someone’s just making up!’ But it gives you something to connect to; it’s part of you and you can really connect with that.
“I took the Enneagram test and learned that I’m a Two. And I love being a Two! It shows in my career, it shows in the activities that I do outside of my career, it shows in my part-time job, it shows everywhere in my life. That’s me, I’m the helper, I want people to be their best selves.
“That’s maybe my favorite part about myself; I really embraced that. At first I thought, ‘Ugh, okay, of course I’m not something cool. I’m not the thinker, I’m not the designer, I’m not any of that -- I’m just the helper.’ But that’s the coolest thing to be! You use your human existence to boost human existence, and what’s cooler than that? Nothing!
“We did a personality test at work that tells you your top five traits. I remember looking at it and thinking, ‘Empathetic? Wow. How lame.’ And a week later, my best friend lost her dad super unexpectedly. I have never seen so much empathy from myself, and I realized, ‘Oh, yeah, you’re right, I am empathetic, and it’s not a bad thing.’ It’s a really good thing, because I get to be here and be supportive and help these people in my life that need me.”
“You can also be soft and raw.”
“We look at the media and see these strong, badass women, and they don’t let anything bother them, nothing gets through their skin, they’re too cool. You see that and think, ‘God, you’re so cool. I want to be so cool!’ I’m definitely cool in my own way, but I have traits that most of the women we idolize don’t have.
“There’s so much we’re told -- be powerful, be a strong woman, be a confident woman -- but you can also be soft and raw. This world’s going to try to make you hard and have a shell, but if you’re just open and happy outwardly every day, that’s going to change your life in a really good way.
“Yes, I can be strong, and yes, I can be confident… but I’m also not those things sometimes. I’m super empathetic and I’m super sensitive. I cry at videos on Instagram, and I get sad when I think about dogs in shelters. But I’m going to be the one who helps dogs in shelters, I’m going to help my friends and family through their hard times, and I think that’s something about myself that I’ve really come to love. That’s just who I am, and I get to fully embrace it.”
“You don’t have to automatically wake up in the morning happy.”
“Confidence and happiness are not automatic. That’s something that I had to learn. And it’s the people that you surround yourself with, the way you view yourself, and how you hold yourself, especially in the time that it’s just you (that matter most).
“I think it’s important to know that you don’t have to automatically wake up in the morning happy. You don’t have to wake up in the morning knowing what’s going to happen. These things will come the more you work on yourself -- there will be more days you’ll wake up happy than you won’t. But it’s not automatic, it’s learned. It took me probably up until this year to really know that this is not built in.
“So if I wake up one day and I’m super sad and I don’t want to do anything, that’s okay. Mental health breaks and physical health breaks are normal. To be your best self, you have to work, you have to learn about you, and that can be a very uncomfortable place to be, but it is a good place to be.”
Michelle, thank you so much for trusting me with your boudoir photos! Your confidence and inner joy radiate in these portraits! I loved learning about how you’ve learned to embrace your helper personality, your empathetic side, and your body (and how you share all of this with others). I’m so glad we got the chance to work together!