In Their Own Skin: Laura
Welcome to the “In Their Own Skin” series.
One of the biggest honors of my job as a boudoir photographer is hearing the stories clients share with me. While these stories are not mine to share on a public platform, I hold them close in my heart. They bring me inspiration, strength, and light in a way that only true humanity and vulnerability can.
I created the “In Their Own Skin” series to share some of these stories with you. The “In Their Own Skin” participants graciously consented to share their stories (told in their own words) alongside their boudoir pictures. My sincere hope is that these stories and pictures will bring you moments of strength, uplift your soul, and encourage you to keep moving forward, especially as we navigate these challenging times.
I’m so honored to introduce you to Laura, the next participant in the “In Their Own Skin” series. Laura tells her story with vulnerability and authenticity. Captured in a state park at sunrise, her boudoir portraits really tell the story of her love for nature and herself. She treats these two homes with intentionality, gentleness, and love. Here are her words.
“My name is Laura, and I am 29 years old. I live in St. Paul. I relocated from New Mexico and am currently in-between jobs, but previously I worked in the nonprofit sector.
“I was diagnosed with endometriosis when I was 17 years old. Almost exactly a year ago, I was in the emergency room (in New Mexico) due to complications from endometriosis. That sparked seeking better healthcare that landed me back in Minnesota.
“I really rely on my body for the activities that I do. Backpacking in particular is a full-body experience; if one thing is off, the whole system is off.”
“I’m reminded of the deep capacity for transformation.”
“When I moved to Minnesota, I was still pretty sick, but started receiving care at the Mayo Clinic. Endometriosis is known for (affecting) the pelvic region, but it really takes over the whole body. In my case, it affected my intestines and bladder as well as ovaries and uterus. I lost nearly 25 pounds and my body transformed. I couldn’t be as active because my energy wasn’t there. I ended up having surgery. While I am still on the journey towards healing, the surgery has given me better health.
“In the midst of all that, I had a psychotic break that resulted in a Bipolar I diagnosis. I suddenly pivoted from having more of a somatic, body-based illness to a mental illness. How do those interrelate with each other? How do I exist in a body with a mind that operates differently?
“Everything’s been up-and-down and changing all around this year. When I reflect on that, I’m reminded of the deep capacity for transformation. I think about how we as humans are able to mutate and be malleable. It’s something I think about a lot because I’m looking at how it’s manifested for me. Outside of my body and mind, I’ve been looking at my place in society -- the shift from being on a career path to no longer having that, and what that does to my identity.
“Trying to keep a pulse on that is a learned skill. I have a deep mindfulness practice. It’s the practice of awareness and learning to touch into my center, or at least try to identify it.”
“The resiliency and the gratitude go hand in hand.”
“The idea of change and shifting -- I’m learning to accept that. I think part of the learning is from being with a changing body and having to be okay with that. Endometriosis and Bipolar are diseases that impact so many different parts of your life; the suffering of it can be overwhelming. There has to be something that you can hold onto in those sorts of circumstances, and a recognition that you don’t move with it, it will be harder.
“Lately, I’ve loved my resilience -- which is not something that I want to be falling in love with, because it means that I’m having to be resilient! It’s not something I want to befriend, but it’s something that I’m grateful for.
“When I talk about my experiences over this year I think, ‘Oh my god, this has been so much and has felt so heavy.’ But then I look at all the other aspects within my life -- experiences that are really transformative, my friendships, my family, my dog -- it’s the whole of it.
“For me, the resiliency and the gratitude go hand in hand with each other. They’re both at this swing set, and I have to have both.”
“This is my home.”
“It’s been such a weird year, and this session was such a gift to have. I felt so out of my body for most of the year, and this has really helped that. It’s nice to be reminded that this is my home, and it’s a good one.”
Laura, thank you so, so much for sharing your story and portraits with us. Your story is so full of strength and wisdom -- I really love the way you spoke about the resilience-gratitude swing set! Your photos show how tender and beautiful your connection with nature is. I’m so glad you are finding a sense of home in your body and that you trusted me to capture it with my camera.